I heard we made out
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
