Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
