he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
