gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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