I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
