I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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