It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
