There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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