You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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