jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
