I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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