It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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