marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
