dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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