I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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