We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
