This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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