Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
