Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
