Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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