Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
