carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
