I wannas sexs uuuuu
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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