please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
