marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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