Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
