I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
