when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
