I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
