I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
