Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
