"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
