Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
