your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
