WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
