I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
