it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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