pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
