at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
