my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
