Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
