lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
