My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
