in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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