Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want to make out with him forever
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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