i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
