Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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