And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
