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Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
