I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
