this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
