Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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